Everyone Has Problems, Even THE CULLENS!
by Tay-MONT
Summary: Carlisle and Esme are coming home from their yearly Honeymoon. Meanwhile Jasper's wearing the wrong shirt, Alice starts a complete uproar! Bella's locked in a closet! Carlisle has had enough! The Cullens go to counsleing! Rated T for safety.


**POV: Carlisle**

The headlights of my car cut through the night time fog of Forks as me and my beloved Esme were driving home from the airport. We just got back from our yearly honeymoon. The kids were left alone with only poor dear Bella to watch them. I laughed to myself remembering some of the shenanigans they managed to get themselves into over the years. Esme turned and looked at me from the passenger seat noticing my smile.

"What's that smile about?" She asked curiously.

"Oh, I was just thinking of some things the children manage to get themselves into when we leave them by themselves." A smile spread across her face as she let go of my hand and clapped them together.

"Oh yes, remember the time we came home and Emmett managed to persuade jasper to convert the spare room into a farm." If I remember correctly, it was Jasper who persuaded Emmett.

"Ahahaha, or a few years ago when Edward made that super industrial strength glue and dared Emmett to try it."

"Who could forget, his hand was stuck to his mouth for a week." I enjoyed that week, I didn't have to listen to Emmett's non-sense.

"You know I never did punish Edward for that."

"Carlisle, since when did that deserve punishment?"

"Well, I guess your right about that, even though if it would have been any of the other children he would have been punished."

"Yeah, I guess your right, but it's too late now." after that it was quite for a bit.

"Esme…"

"Yes Carlisle?"

"Did you ever feel that we were too lenient with him?"

"Who…Edward?"

"Yes Edward, I feel like we were too soft with him. If any of the others had done some of the things that he did they would have been punished." Like that time he rigged Rose's chandelier to fall when she picked up her hand mirror.

"I guess the reason we never did anything is because back then he was always so sad. Him smiling was such a rare occurrence, that when he did you didn't want to take it away."

"Yes, my first son will always have a special place in my heart…, just like the rest of my children do…" It's true but, and I hate to admit this, Edward's might be just a bit bigger than the others.

"Even though if we were to punish him it's not like he really had anything that he was attached to, like the others did. Alice had her shopping, clothes and Jasper, Jasper had his studies, stocks and Alice, Emmett had wrestling, video games, and Rose, and Rose…well Rose had herself." She smiled to herself at that last part.

"Yeah, I guess we really couldn't have taken away his piano." Where would we have put it?…

"I wouldn't have allowed it, the house would have been to quite with the absence of his beautiful music."

It was quite after that…the silence wasn't bad. I enjoy reminiscing with Esme about my life. It helps me remember the things I've overcome, the battles I've fought, and the people I've crushed….hahaha, Aro well never get over that.

We were about four miles away when I heard it. The angry voices of my children.

"Do you hear that Esme?" I asked cocking my head toward the window, trying to pick out coherent words.

"…Oh my…is that _our_ children?" She asked with a slight grimace.

"Unless we received neighbors while were gone, I think so."

"Well this should be fun…."She said with a worried expression

I pressed the gas pedal all the way down pushing my Mercedes ever faster through the fog blanketing the road. The closer we got to my home the louder the voices of my children became, but I still couldn't decipher what the problem was. Before long we entered the long trail leading to our house. I was almost to the garage when I heard the loud splintering of wood coming from the side of my house. I jumped out of the car just in time to see Emmett's huge body tear through the side of my house. His body then flew thirty feet through the air and straight through five of the trees Esme planted fifty years ago. He finally landed ninety feet away from the house in a huge mud filled hole. The events that took place after that were worse then some I had conceived out of pure boredom. As Emmett was soaring through the air Jasper was framed in the gaping hole of what my wall used to be, Rosalie leaped from behind him and they both went gliding into the dense, nearby woods. I could hear the snapping of several saplings as they descended deeper and deeper into the forest. Before long Edward and Alice emerged from the hole and ran after them. You could still hear the snapping and popping of breaking trees and vines. Then a sudden thought came rushing to my head. Where is Bella.

**POV: Alice**

**Ten Minutes Prior**

"Jasper, why are you wearing that shirt?" I asked as he was holding me on the couch.

"It's the one you laid out for me, isn't it?" He said slightly confused.

"No, I laid out the dark green button up." I remember because it's one of my favorites.

"Then what is this?" He said looking down at me.

"That's Emmett's green button up."

"Then why was it in my closet?"

"I don't know…" I confessed.

I turned to look around the room at Rose. She was beating Emmett at his racing game.

"Rose, why was _your _husband's shirt in _my _husband'scloset?" I said interrupting her game.

"Mhummmmuhm…" She was so into the game that she barely acknowledged me.

I got up and scanned the room for the stapler I was going to throw at Rosalie. Edward appeared next to me holding the stapler that I saw in my vision, with a huge smile on his face, he put it in my hand. Seconds later Bella came into view on the first step of the staircase, I winked at her shook the stapler and motioned to Rose. Bella's eyes widened with anticipation and Edward ran up to get her and bring her closer. Right as the stapler left my hand Rose wiped her head around to see why Bella was giggling. The room became silent as the stapler bounced off her head and onto the floor.

"…Alice what the hell was that for…"

"You know what….I'm not exactly sure…sometimes my visions aren't very detailed, but it might have something to do with the fact that your husband's ugly green button up is on my husband's body…..and I want to know how it got there…." I said crossing my arms at Rosalie's attitude.

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe our husband's shirts got mixed in the process of washing?" she replied with ice slipping into every word.

"No." I took a few steps toward her, challenging her I realized. I hadn't seen this response in my vision….what an exciting turn of events! However, really why was she being such a bitch about this? It's not like the stapler did anything to her oh so precious face, it definitely didn't hurt her. She shouldn't be so "surprised" anyway. As the pixie of this family it is my job, no my right to rake havoc on this house hold, it is in my nature.

"And why are you so sure of that?" She questioned moving toward me, equally challenging.

"Because I set out my husband's dark green button up myself this morning! I remember because it's my favorite! I like how it makes his shoulders look! Now tell me, WHY THE HELL IS YOUR HUSBANDS SHIRT ON _**MY**_ HUSBANDS TORSO!" I roared pointing at Jasper who was frozen on the couch trying in vain to process everyone's emotions.

"Why the hell would I know?" She said very bitch like.

"Because it's your husband's shirt." Rose just stared at me, and I looked directly into her eyes. We stood like that for a moment. Then finally Edward cut into the silence.

"You two are aware that your husbands do have names, right?" Bella laughed from her spot under Edwards arm.

"Shut up Edward!" we replied simultaneously. Jasper winced and even I felt the change in the room. You could fell the tension rolling in waves from our bodies. A vision popped into my head and I knew how this would end. We wouldn't kill each other, but we'd get close. Edward's smile turned into a frown as he took it all in.

"Alice don't do it. It's just a shirt. This is stupid just say your sorry and get on with your life."

No. I thought

"Alice please…" he begged, "It's just a shirt."

"No Edward, it wasn't just a shirt. It was _the _shirt. One of a kind, hand made by Prada." I steamed. I broke eye contact with rose and brought my hands up. Everything seemed to go in slow motion when my hands came in contact with her shoulders and I sent her flying across the room. Edward cursed under his breath and vanished with Bella in tow, I heard the hall closet click shut and the lock turn. Jasper came to my side and put his hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me, but it was too late.

He bent down and whispered in my ear, "Alice, dear, it's only a shirt I'll go with you tomorrow and get another one." I could tell how desperate he was because he said he would go with me, and I was seriously thinking about stopping and apologizing but then he was ripped away from my side and on the floor when Emmett came and slapped me across the face. Rose was still on the ground trying to fight her way out of the remains of the bookcase and curtains with out further damaging them. Emmett was breathing deeply as I brought my hand to the spot on my face where his hand had been. His pupils became large when he realized what he had done and he opened his mouth to say something but was stopped by jasper attacking him. The house groaned as if in pain when Jasper sent Emmett flying through the wall. Great, now there was evidence that we fought. I was so looking forward to handing a nice, clean report to Carlisle. Jasper stood silhouetted by the crumbling house around him when Rosalie finally gave up and shredded her way out. She launched herself toward him and they went zooming into the forest. Edward and I exchanged a long glance before I suggested that we go after them. He didn't move but instead looked down the hall, I could tell he wanted to check on Bella but I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the wall. We both took somewhat calming breathes and jumped through the hole and into the night. As we landed onto the soft damp ground, I caught my parents scent with the wind, well at least that's one less thing I have to explain.

POV: Carlisle

Present

I decided that Emmett could get himself out of the puddle and that Edward wouldn't have ran off with his sister unless he knew Bella was somewhere safe. I took off my coat, folded it, put it in my car and ran off into the forest, I could fell Esme following behind me. The path of broken trees along with their scent led me to where they where they were fighting in a small clearing they appear to have made within the last five seconds. Jasper and Rosalie were trying to maul each other, forgetting that they are practically siblings and trying to rip out each others throats. Alice was chasing after Jasper and Edward after Rose. They don't appear to be having much luck in stopping them. Esme put her hand to her mouth, having a hard time accepting that her children could so quickly drop their love for one another and replace it with passionate hatred through the heart of battle. I take in the scene a few more moments and decide that enough is enough. They don't even seem to notice that I'm here watching every gruesome detail. Jasper almost has her cornered when she whirls around and escapes his trap. You would think he'd have the upper hand in this type of situation but Rose is cunning and quick to learn. I put out my hand and catch Rose when she passes me. She collapses against my arm and I stand her up straight. Putting my fingers to my lips I let loose a loud whistle. My children immediately freeze and Edward manages to grab Jasper by the collar. They line up in front of me, Edward still restraining Jasper as he and Rosalie exchange a hate filled glower. I put my arm around my love and stare each one of my children in the eye. I nudge rose over next to Alice but Edward quickly grabs her by the arm and drags him to the other side of his body. Great. A disagreement between Jasper and Rose would have been easily settled but one between Rose and Alice is a different matter. I point toward the house.

"Family meeting, in the living room, five minutes."

Alice reaches toward Jasper, he gently takes her hand and briefly strokes her cheek before they take off. Edward continues to hold on to Rose for a minute then hands her to me before running away. I let go of Rose and she zooms out of sight. I take my lovely wife's hand, kiss her precious forehead, sigh and we walk out of the clearing, every relaxing thought from our honeymoon washed away. The spaces filling with dread and curiosity as to finding out what happened.

POV: Emmett

I'm in the bathroom, towel drying my hair when I hear the door slam shut. I managed to land in one of the only mud puddles big enough to swim in on our property. When this is over Jasper and Edward are not going to let me hear the end of this. Hmm…I can't believe I hit Alice. I don't know what came over me. And the way she looked at me, like I had committed the biggest of betrayals! If I could cry I probably would have. She's not going to talk to me forever. However pleasant that may sound, it's not good to have an angry Alice following you around with a battle ax, waiting for any sudden movements. I don't think even she'll forgive me if I carried all the shopping bags in the world. Shit. I finish drying my hair and gather my mud soaked clothes throwing them into the trash on my way through the house to the living room. I saw Esme when I got out of my puddle. That means Carlisle's home too, which means we'll be having a family meeting. I stretch my arms and take a seat in the middle of our huge couch, nothing to do but wait for the inevitable.

POV: Bella

Did he have to lock me in the freaking closet! Of all the places he could have picked to put me, he chooses the closet. It's not like I wanted to stay in there when Alice and Rosalie exploded but he totally could have put me in his room. The only things in here are coats and a Rubik's cube, I was never good at Rubik's cube. I grab the nearest coat yank it off it's hanger and bundle it up under my head, might as well take a nap while I'm locked in here. The jacket smells like Edward and I inhale deeply. Filling my nostrils with his scent. I didn't realize I missed him until now. What is wrong with me? He's been gone for like ten-fifteen minutes top. I wrap my arms around his coat thinking of him and falling asleep when I feel his cold hands on my face. Without opening my eyes I smile and he picks me up, carrying me like a baby into the living room.

POV: Edward

"Sorry for putting you in the closet-it was the closest room with a lock." I said sitting down on the couch with her in my lap.

"Your forgiven." she whispers and I quickly peck her on the lips as Rosalie walks through the hole in the wall, we should make that a door.

"Where is she?" Emmett jumps up from the couch and rushes to her side.

"Who Alice? Oh my god Rose, I'm so sorry fro hitting her, I…I…I don't know what ca…"

She held her hand up "Don't apologize, she deserved it! I didn't do anything to her." Emmett takes in a deep breath as he realizes that this is not yet over. Damn he thinks.

"Yep." I reply. He looks at me with guilt in his eyes.

Edward. I didn't mean to…

"I know, it was an accident, she'll understand…sooner or later." I said

"Where is she Edward?" Rose snarled.

"Whoa babe, just chill 'kay. Carlisle will be here soon and we can get this all settled out."

Edward, I want to know where she is.

"Well Rose, where do you think she is? You're in a fight, she knows it's not over, Carlisle isn't home yet, could she be hiding?" I answer straight forward. Bella grabs my hand and I start stroking her hair.

"She's in her closet."

"No she's not Rose. She's not stupid. She's hiding, and I'm not telling you where she is. So you may as well just sit down and wait for Carlisle to get here like the rest of us." I say through clenched teeth. I didn't do anything to her and I don't like how she's looking at Bella.

"Stop it, Don't look at her like that just because she's the only female in the room."

She shakes her head, knocking herself out of her daze, "Whatever." she strides across the room and sits next to Emmett, arms crossed, knuckles clenched. Emmett put his hand on her knee. She pushed it off. They must be walking here from the clearing. I'm getting impatient. Too much longer and Bella will fall asleep, and can fell it in the way she's breathing, and I don't want her to fall asleep here. I want her to fall asleep in my arms in our bed.

I call out to the house, "Alice, Jasper. Get down here."

"Is it safe?" the house answers back.

"Yes." I reply

"Promise?" I look at Rose.

"Nope."

"Fine." She says and they both appear on the third stair. Alice absently leans into Jasper and starts rubbing his knee. I notice that he has changed his shirt. Alice probably burned the other one. I take a deep breathe.

"Okay…, lets get our story straight."


End file.
